Film Review - The Da Vinci Code

After a particularly crappy day at work (althougth worse for others) I ventured out to the cinema and saw The Da Vinci Code. After an hour of writing my review here it is - Enjoy.

The Da Vinci Code

Vital Statistics
Genre
Drama/Mystery/Thriller

Director(s)
Ron Howard
Writer(s)
Akiva Goldsman

Starring
Tom Hanks
The Pretty Audrey Tautou
Sir Ian McKellen
Jean Reno
Paul Bettany
Alfred Molina

Review
Some of the best films of all time have been based on novels - Shawshank redemption, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Godfather and some are even films based on novels that were said to be un-filmable - Lord of the Rings. So when along comes a book such as The Da Vinci Code, a book that screams ‘I can be one of the best films ever’ you would think no one, especially not Oscar winning director Ron Howard, could go wrong. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.

The biggest problem with The Da Vinci Code is it is just not fun. The book was fun. The film should have been Indiana Jones for the 21st century, this should rollicking adventure from start to finish; instead it is a bland film full of exposition and prose intermixed with a few 5 minute spurts of rollicking adventure. Surely the former star of Happy Days would know fun, but I guess after A Beautiful Mind all the fun has left him and instead he decided to aim for another Oscar - which he is not going to get.

Howard, however, cannot share all the blame; a lot should be placed on the shoulders of writer Akiva Goldsman for poorly translating the novel into a script. For those who haven’t heard, the film is about Tom Hanks and The Pretty Audrey Tautou’s search for the Holy Grail, and how if found and made public would rock the foundations of Christianity - its one big conspiracy theory. Sadly the film is not as controversial as it should be; this is not because these parts are missing from the film (that would be impossible) it is just you miss them as you nod off to sleep during the big, long, conversations where they are discussed. Scenes of ancient battles in the background as these big, log, conversations go on do little to assist the viewers interest, they just make alleviate the blandness and make the film look a little prettier - just not as pretty as Audrey Tautou.

The other major problem with the characters - you just don’t care about some of them. It is undeniable that Tom Hanks and The Pretty Audrey Tautou are excellent actors but The Da Vinci Code is hardly a showcase for their talents. The Pretty Audrey Tautou is left with little to do, and what was a strong, intelligent character in the book is left to being the bland and pretty sidekick of a bland and less pretty Tom Hanks. I never thought I would ever hear myself call Tom Hanks bland, but given Akiva Goldsman’s script and under Ron Howard’s direction and, he is.

Ian McKellen is one of the films saving graces, lighting up the screen with his presence. His not so grand entrance through a speaker phone shows his quisessential Britishness and he just shines. Within 45 seconds of only McKellen's voice being on screen you like him far more than the lead characters who have taken up the best part of 45 minutes of screen time. Paul Bettany also deserves a mention as the self flagellating, albino, Opus Dei monk - although the script lets him down, Bettany does a worthy job in making you empathise and feel for his character.

This is no Indiana Jones and it is not even a National Treasure. There are some good set pieces and good use of location but still The Da Vinci Code is bland with little tension and only the occasional jolt and laugh. This is a wasted opportunity and the novel deserves a better film and so all that is left to say is ‘so how long before a remake?’

2½ stars - (1 star for Ian McKellen, 1 star for how pretty Audrey Tautou is and ½ star for everything else)

PS - On a personal note The Pretty Audrey Tautou can have my babies.